Is this the most intelligent soldier in the USA Military?

Sent: January 14, 2006 People often ask me, "If you are so against the war and couldn't stand the army, why did you ever join in the first place?" I have answered the same every time, that perhaps I was naïve, that I wanted a chance to see the world and earn college money. Or that I felt trapped in a dead-end town and needed a chance to escape, or that I was curious to live life as a soldier and gain military knowledge. These answers are never enough for some people, yet so many young Americans end up in the military the same exact way. I understand that I joined just prior to September 11, 2001. Indeed, I was naïve then to think that we lived in a somewhat peaceful world. Soldiers at that time joined for other reasons. Maybe soldiers who join now are ones who want to fight in a war. After much personal debate, I have learned that my resistance to war and empire was forged by the army itself. Since the very beginning of my four year military experience, I was simply a very different soldier. In basic training, instead of attending church service with the rest of the privates for two hours of relaxation, I was in the barracks mopping the floors and cleaning toilets. I would not fake a belief in god for petty rewards. While other soldiers were marching in rank and file to eat chow, I was off to the side, being smoked by a drill sergeant--doing pushups and flutter-kicks--for refusing to yell out cadence like a dopey high school cheerleader. As time went by, it never got any easier. I had a very hard time with the concept of conformity. While other soldiers in the barracks were watching porno's and hitting the beer bong with their frat-buddies, I was sitting on my bunk in a dark corner of a room reading Noam Chomsky. Instead of spending endless hours spit-shining my boots or ironing my BDU's, I was playing punk riffs on my guitar or perhaps writing poetry. I would routinely skip out on company "mandatory fun days" and go back to my room and sleep. Beetle Bailey was my hero. Instead of spending every weekend going to the same mundane hip-hop clubs and discos, starting fights and trying to get laid, I was backpacking across Europe with other like-minded friends. We traveled way beyond the limits that a mileage pass would allow. We were openly learning about other cultures, exploring a great unknown, and living life to the fullest while we had it. Instead of hating Iraqis for their strange ways and resentful behavior, I was trying to imagine the world in which they lived, even before an unwelcome US occupation forced them to live in a war zone. While other soldiers were bragging about how many hajis they had waxed in the last engagement, I was carefully pondering what the longtime ramifications would be for such inane bloodshed. Instead of coming back from missions and going straight to the PlayStation, I was writing what I saw and how I felt on this blog. It is true that I was a very different breed in the army. However, there were others like me. We were far and few between, we were misfits in an olive-drab green hell. We solidified, became friends, and became brothers. Most of the soldiers in my platoon were this way, outcasts. We opposed the war, sometimes openly. We were never persecuted for our beliefs because, although we were angry, we were a whole. We were a group of covert-subverts and our chain of command hated it. I came home from Iraq and was awarded combat spurs, a glorious achievement for a cavalry scout. I contemplated the true meaning of these spurs, this icon of war. Spurs that were worn by soldiers on horses; who rode with General Custer and decimated the American Indian population. Spurs painted with the blood of five major wars of the 20th century, some wars to fight empire and others to promote it. What would I do with these spurs? I decided to hold on to them. They meant much more than archaic tradition and a turbulent history. Somehow they meant comradery and friendship. My brothers-in-arms and I had earned them together, and they symbolize a token of deep understanding of a past we will share together, until the day we die. Today's public thinks that every American soldier fighting in Iraq supports the war and that his/her morale and trust in command is very high. However, in my experience, this was simply not true. I encountered dissent on many levels (For one example, see post below: Free Speech for Soldiers, Sept.21, 2004). Even soldiers who supported the army and loved their job hated being in a conflict they could not understand. Some soldiers did understand, and were resentful for it. The morale for the majority of our brigade was relatively low. I rarely met anyone who wanted to fight in Iraq, and the only ones who truly wanted to stay were the high echelon officers who seemed more concerned about their careers than the overall mission. Some may wonder where these disgruntled soldiers are. I believe that they are a part of every social fabric of our country. I've certainly met more angry veterans than I have boastful ones. Some missing limbs, some missing friends, others missing innocence. Angry and confused. Cannot find the healthcare they need. Cannot find jobs. Can no longer find a place to fit in our society. Some of these soldiers are still in the military and fear repercussions of speaking out. Soldiers who served several missions in Iraq and want no more. Soldiers tied to the war machine with no hope of escape. They wait for their day of freedom, hoping to avoid another stop-loss. They want out before death takes them first. So many silent voices and whispered stories. I know one veteran who refuses to talk about his experience because he thinks no one will understand and it won't change anything anyways. Another veteran I know candy-coats his experience so he won't disappoint his conservative family members. These soldiers are everywhere, but choose to remain silent because they fear ostracism from a war crazed, jingoistic public. The media plays with everyone's mind, convincing everyone that everything is okay as long as you trust in the government's overall plans for victory in Iraq. But when one asks a veteran for the truth, this optimistic fairy tale of ultimate victory seems a hard pill to swallow. I am not trying to speak for every soldier and veteran. I know that there are those out there who support the war effort and feel good about being in Iraq. However, in my experience, I have not met too many who feel this way. There is a rising tide of antiwar sentiments growing in this country. Fifty-two percent of America now feels it was not worth going to war with Iraq, while fifty-eight percent disapprove of Bush's handling of the war, and now a whopping fifty-three percent actually support a Bush impeachment. (CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll/Zogby Poll. Jan. 6-8, 2006). One would have to wonder how these polls might look if more and more soldier accounts were brought to the public's attention. There is a truth that lies buried under the Pentagon propaganda machine and the misinformation provided by corporate media and a dishonest administration, and that truth lies in the experience of combat soldiers. In the end I know that my experience may have been different, or that maybe I was a very different kind of soldier. But it was the army that molded my contempt for authority and distrust of a feudalistic government that pulls the strings. Through my army involvement I met others like me who felt much of the same way. We were dissidents, but never un-American. On the contrary, we knew the difference between following orders and thinking for ourselves. Ultimately, there is no difference between love for one's country and the willingness to oppose a government that institutes war, fear and oppression on any level. There are many soldiers and veterans who share the same feelings as me and others I met along the way. Some are even in the ranks of the military. Someday all the soldiers will come home and when they do, their stories and sentiments will follow. Only then will a better understanding of the truth be known. -- J.D. Englehart

Public Comments

1. Dear Soldier, Thank you for serving your country. As did thousands that joined after the terrible attack on America, your sense of loyalty to your country is admirable. It has been a tough war, and because of the lack of body armor, soldiers and training it seems to look like another Vietnam. I am glad to hear you went back packing across Europe, and I am glad you were not part of the "how many I killed syndrome", but I think you are burned-out, and may possibly have some psychological problems that need to be checked by professionals. War is never fun, it is a hard life and it sounds like you have meet the end of your capabilities. Remember you volunteered, remember you went for a cause that you and millions of America believed in. Soldier's do not get involved in politics, and I recommend you keep your personal feelings "personal", for there are thousands of military men and women who just may not feel the way you do. When it gets hard the stronger get stronger and the weak get weaker!
2. Is there a question in this LONG Babbling statement of opinion?
3. Very profound comments. I agree with the most of the story. Being a Vietnam Veteran, things have changed little. This soldier needs to be thanked for his service.
4. No, just opinionated. And not afraid to speak of his hatred. I wish him well and hope he comes home alive and well
5. Thank you for your service from the bottom of my heart. I hope you will find the peace you deserve. For all of us.
6. No this is not!!! He may be intelligent, but he also does not have the ability to see the real threats in this world
7. These must be the very thoughts from Citizen soldiers in every army their ever was. Thanks you for sharing.
8. i'll never understand the despicable americans who think they are supposed to support their govt when it is evil. hello - we fought a revolution because we don't believe in the divine rights of kings. the person posting 'traitor' here is such a traitor to american values, one wonders how he doesn't realize that. america has been hijacked by gangster bush - he doesn't represent us. anyone who supports bush and his policies is a terrorist sympathizer.
9. He may be one of them! Well written, honest and detailed, he should earnestly consider writing as a vocation after he finishes his tour with the Army. You know, there is always someone "like him" or some variation, within any military setting. There are those who conform to the militarist ideals and carry those rituals home with them and those (like my husband) who still after 17 years of service in the Marine Corps, is his own man. I would like to see more writings of this soldier's if possible so if you could please forward his blog address/site. Thanks
10. OK, so you are a hippie, but, so were many of us, and, we finally grew up to realize that if we permit one warlord or one dictator to cause a holocaust, we are as evil as they. Americans aren't really offended at the idiot who burns our flag, in protest. Insane egotistical people abound. Americans are incensed that people cannot burn THEIR flag on THEIR soil, in protest of oppression, in statements of Freedom! You are mistaking political rhetoric in the media and missing your genuine opportunity to make a change in the world. The pen is mightier than the sword, until the author is silenced by a tyrant! Use your vote, and your forum, to reach more folks who are thinking on the scale of the Big Picture! Don't get lost in the rhetoric of the two abusive political parties! That is what JFKerry mistakenly did, to now become an unimportant has-been! http://lp.org http://cagw.org http://fairtax.org
11. Hi JD. Last Christmas season on a flight I had a discussion with a career soldier who had somewhat similar views. I really appreciate your perspective. One of the most important rights we have is freedom of speech. Couple that with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; your views epitomize this. It is refreshing to see a person who has first hand experience in this war who can take an objective view and express it so well. My dad and his contemporaries who are Vietnam era veterans (career military) feel the same way. On the one hand, troops are trained to follow orders, but on the other hand people with a conscious certainly will be conflicted following orders from a president who is reactive and questionable in judgment. Like you, I love America and appreciate the wonderful life we have here. However it breaks my heart to see people put in harm's way for reasons that are questionable and where I cannot really see a connection that is for the safety and protection of our country. Please keep speaking up. Your perspective is greatly appreciated.
12. sounds like a coward who never thought he was going to actually have to do any fighting... With soldiers like this, we may as well join France and take up the "Surrender first" tactic...
13. Okay, i am a soldier, currently in iraq. I joined after 9/11, but really didn't want to go to a war, but i wanted to serve my country. The guy who posted this question, there may be a few like him, but the majority of people in the military don't need a reason as to why we are here, it is our job. I don't agree with it, but it is my job. When i went to basic, i would have smacked this guy around for not singing cadence, it is part of who we are. He joined for the wrong reasons, he does not speak for us. Please don't believe that every soldier does what the "other soldiers" he names in almost every line. there are extremes in every group, corporation and military branch. The true majority, do our job the best we can, and just try to make it through our deployments.
14. I feel sorry for you. You are so mixed up and pitiful. You probably should join some girls' organization.
15. Never mind the people on this blog who are fast to criticize you about this blog(question). I emailed your blog to my sisters,and mother who are very concerned right now about my nephew(my sister's boy) who is 18 and is in Ft. Benning,Ga right now in basic training for 12 weeks. I think your statements will give them some peace of mind about the realities of what it is really like to "be there'. As for the other people who callously answered this blog with their ignorance,they have no clue of what it is really like unless they have walked a mile in your shoes. Thank you for sharing.
16. thanks for serving. I don't think anyone can self-proclaimed to be the most intelligent soldier. just a little more comment here: soldiers are meant to work in the group setting ; soldiers are meant to obey their legal superior orders and carry out those orders regarldess what their personal feelings are; And soldiers are not ordinary citizens who live in this democratic country. So be a SOLDIER!
17. He seems to think that he's better and smarter, he's neither, Being strange is not being enlightened, he's not. Speaking for others when not being asked to isn't noble, it's arrogant, he is.
18. for that statement alone I spit at you....good thing your not a marine or I'd have to ask what the hell my corps is doing. Needless to say your just a soldier, thanks for clearing any questions I might of had about how sad "soldiers" are....Semper Fi to every marine that reads this thread
19. Now that was a good one,now I can see where your letters are comin from. Birdsnakecatherine is a piece of shit who probably never served or ever will as she is a coward and she should not even be pitied for her white trash comment.
20. Thank you for your story. I am sure that if there are others like you as you say then maybe we can get this country going in a different direction. Of course we will always have to deal with those who are to blinded by pride and who are so close minded that they can never understand what you and others like you say and feel. All the negative comments to your question have been nothing but the same stuff I see everywhere else when a person speaks out for what they believe in. Hate. How can these people hate their own country men? You even fought on behalf of them, for something you didn't believe in. Thank you. I hope one day America will see what the media doesn't show them. People please open up your eyes.
21. 1. Thank you for serving. 2. I'll be honest I read most of your letter then started glancing at the rest. After it began to feel like you wanted to poke at other military members. 3. I share your feeling about faking a belief in god to get out barracks duty. Which is **** by the way. I myself ended up doing way more floor buffing than others. Everyone should get those 2 hours off on Sunday. 4. It's cool you traveled all over Europe, but mileage limits are there for a reason. You should know that. The military is not there to fly you around the world on a little pleasure cruise. IT"S A JOB. That you may or not be required to get back to fast. 5. Cadences and everything about basic training are designed to tear you down and build you back into a soldier. A team player. Part of a larger group. Someone your buddy is going to trust to have his back. Shining boots and pressing uniforms are only part of it. I'll bet when you did that you became rather undesirable with the other members of your platoon. S**t like that would have gotten all of us smoked. 6. I applaud you for standing up for what you believe in, but I'm glad we didn't serve together. 7. And no this isn't the most intelligent soldier in the US military. You couldn't have been that smart if you didn't realize that you were fighting against everything in basic that should have pulled you together. 8. Ya there are some dumb ***es that serve, and brag about stupid sh** like that. Not everyone. You treated your military experience like it was your paid journey into self actualization. May be you should have worked for Red Cross? 9. You get what you put in out. That's all folks. 10. You say you joined after 9/11. The numers aren't working out with an email you sent me. Were you enlisted or commisioned? 6 years active and 24 working on base. Which most army call a post. Things that make you go hummmm. The absolute youngest age you could be would be say 47-48. Me thinks something is rotten in you rant.
22. Why oh why don't the people see, why do they castigate a personal feeling of forlorn hope and self flagellation, when a individual writes such a profane and deep personal account of his/her experience it takes a certain intestinal fortitude to articulate his point of view,, don't you Americans pride yourself on the great tenant "Freedom of Speech' isn't this enshrined in your constitution if so the individual has just eloquently expressed himself as a thinking feeling human who at no time denigrated your country ,, rather told it from his soul he is not influenced by the "mob" nor is he controlled by the inane chant and screams of death ,, no, he is influenced by more human influences, understanding, tolerance, and acceptance of the differences inherent in all cultures,, I commend his stance and admire his resilience in his ability to endure the snide resentments of his peers and fellow countrymen and women,,