Can somone turn this essay into a sarcastic one?

I admire Christopher Columbus for his discovery of America. Look around America now, massive massacres are everywhere. Most recently, a korean guy killed 30 some peopel in Virginia, where Columbus first landed in America. Couple weeks ago, my cousin lost his job because Bush cut the founding to research institutes. Few months ago, Michael Jackson was spotted in Paris wearing a bra. A year ago, Katrina strike Southern states, the whole damn city was underwater. Soon before Katrina, Janet Jackson showed off her boobs in fornt of national TV.A couple of years ago, A-Rod signed $125mil deal with the Yanks while most south brox people were still live under relief funds. Around the same time, Bush declared war on Iraq, which costs over billion dollar a week. Let's face it, 1 out of every 10 Americans live under poverty line. A decade ago, Clinton was caught having real fun with his fat secretary in the oval office. I am not sure if these were part of Columbus's envision of America.

Public Comments

1. If thats an essay,I'll eat my shorts. You did a pretty good job of being sarcastic with out help,or did your liberal boy friend help you?
2. It needs to be fact checked, spell checked, and have a full grammatical make over first. Columbus never landed in Virginia and A-Rods contract amount with the Yankees was a remainder of $252 million that the Texas Rangers negotiated with him. Next item is spelling. Bronx is not spelled brox with no n and a lower case b, I also don't think Bush cut founding, but possibly funding. Janet Jackson showed her boobs in front, not in fornt. The grammar could be spelling issues in some places, but I'm not sure. For instance; Columbus may have had a vision of America, but not an envision of America, and Katrina struck the southern states, not Katrina strike southern states. What Michael Jackson did in Paris, does not fit the America theme you are shooting for. These things are just the tip of the ice berg on this "essay"
3. Looks pretty ok other than a few spelling mistakes here n there. Adding more sarcasm to it will only make it downright polemic. But then again, nothing wrong with that either.